I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
