He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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