I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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