Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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