i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
