All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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