just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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