I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
