Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
