Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
