i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
