He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
