Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
