you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
