Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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