I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
