Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We named our party play list daddy issues
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
