I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Randomize
