The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
