Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You pole danced in your parka.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
