i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
