Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
