In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
