I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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