Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
