What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
