he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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