I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
