margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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