so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
