i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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