If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
