i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
