butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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