just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
