where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
A+ Viking dick
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
