I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
