Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
