Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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