Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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