my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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