But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
