So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize