He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
