I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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