someone get that fucking seahorse.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
