did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
