Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
