if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
