so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
